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Releasing the Attachment to Pain

I have been in a relatively pain free place for many years, and I continue to be amazed that my mind maintains an attachment to the shadows of pain. This memory of pain lingers in my muscles and bones.

How do I know I have not totally detached?

Every time something wonderful happens, I observe my thoughts asking me, “Are you sure you deserve this?” I know it is the pained part of me that poses the question.

The other day I observed a young infant holding onto the side of the pool for dear life while his instructor lovingly attempted to coach him to let go and swim to her. iStock_000000734968Small

It is trust and faith that allow us to disengage and move from safe havens. Clinging to safety keeps us from enjoying the beauty that life has to offer. I know that I can trust that it’s OK to be pain-free, and I can have faith that pain won’t return if I continue to manage it. Much like the infant, when he learns to trust his swimming coach, he will know that she will always catch him while he learns to swim on his own.

Totally detaching from my pain requires that I relinquish the mental armor that gives me the illusion of control. I want to remember the “just let go, it will be okay” thoughts that I wanted to share with the infant. I want to realize that when I have the nagging thoughts in the back of my head–the “Are you sure you deserve this?” thoughts–that I recognize the need to let go and trust that I do deserve the pain-free moments in life. We all do.

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About Mary Byrne Eigel

Before writing children’s books, Mary spent many years teaching in classrooms and creating art in her studio. She was born with bi-lateral hip dysplasia, a painful condition that causes normal activities, like walking, to be challenging. As a child, when Mary had to trek long distances, she often wished she had a wheelchair. For her, a wheelchair offered pain-free opportunities, not limitations. Mary grew up in Chicago, which is the lakefront inspiration for the town of Sail. She lives in Missouri with her husband and two dogs, Beaux and Trey.

One response »

  1. Wonderful words and profound advice as always, Beth Havey

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