I have found myself in places I would rather not be. Being in pain is one of them. I have spent a lot of time and energy “trying not to be there.” I have denied my pain by refusing to recognize the importance of daily exercise, and suffered for it. I have challenged my pain by doing things I knew I should not do, and suffered for it. I have refused to accommodate my pain by doing things like wearing sensible shoes, and suffered for it.
A speaker I heard last week, Jaison, spoke about how we can change “resistance to assistance” by altering our beliefs. Accepting that “You are in your rightful place” allows the energy you might spend denying a situation to be spent assisting with the situation.
Several years ago I was told that my blood sugar levels were high and I needed to see someone about controlling it. Expecting that this meant nothing more getting a lecture and another brochure, I willingly made the appointment. When I arrived the specialist took out a glucose meter and said “I want you to start taking your blood sugar levels every day.” I could have bolted at that moment. It took a lot of energy not to flee.
I am not sure how much of what she said I actually heard. Simultaneously echoing inside my head was, “I don’t belong here, she is mistaken. My blood sugars aren’t that bad. I am a good person, I should not be hearing this.”
This was several years ago. I have accepted this diagnosis, but also realize that I still have resistance. I still need assistance with my resistance. When I realize that, like Lady Macbeth in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, “The lady doth protest too much,” it is a red flag to me that my resistance is strong and I am going to need a lot of assistance. It is my choice whether to spend energy resisting or assisting.
Do you have a chronic pain related issue that you struggle to accept? What types of assistance have you had to use?