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Painful Memories

We used to have a vise like this in the basement. I remember thinking that I could put my finger in the vise, crank the jaws of the vise to close around my finger and that the pain from that could not equal the pain that I felt inside my body. It would just be a distraction for my leg pain.

The horror of those thoughts frightens me  as I reflect back on it.  They were not thoughts I  could  share  with friends or family or especially parents.

What I did not know now was that it was not normal to have those thoughts.  There must have been some strange comfort in entertaining  those thoughts. It must have been a mental means of coping with my constant pain.

It warms my heart when I see the resources that are available to children and adults  today who are in chronic pain situations. I pray that those working with the pained patients understand the darkness of the thoughts that can occur.

Do you have any dark memories of trying to cope with your pain?

About Mary Byrne Eigel

Before writing children’s books, Mary spent many years teaching in classrooms and creating art in her studio. She was born with bi-lateral hip dysplasia, a painful condition that causes normal activities, like walking, to be challenging. As a child, when Mary had to trek long distances, she often wished she had a wheelchair. For her, a wheelchair offered pain-free opportunities, not limitations. Mary grew up in Chicago, which is the lakefront inspiration for the town of Sail. She lives in Missouri with her husband and two dogs, Beaux and Trey.

2 responses »

  1. Hi Mary,
    I found you! Your website is beautiful and I’ll enjoy reading it as you go along. How wonderful to be able to share inspiration with others who have walked and are continuing to walk a similar path.
    It was a welcomed surprise to run into you again after so many years.
    Here is the link to the myspace page of the band that I play in, “Evergreen”. The dates of our gigs are listed on the righthand side. Hope you and George can make it by sometime for a cup of tea (they have great desserts, too!):

    Take care, Mary.

  2. Mary Byrne Eigel

    Holly, Great to find you here. I can’t wait to check out evergreen and look forward to hearing your group. Namaste, Mary

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