There is Chronic Pain and there is Addiction, and I feel there can be addiction to Chronic Pain.
After my hip replacement surgery which was over 18 years ago, I felt so blessed to be pain free in my leg and hip for the first time in my life. BUT…. I also felt very lost. Pain had been a part of me since childhood and defined what I could and could not do. Now that I could walk relatively pain free, I felt this emotional tugging. Would I really continue to be pain free?
I know that I envisioned my pain as a “person” dwelling inside my own skin. And I found myself continuing to want to cosult this person for permission to move about. I asked the surgeon, on my follow up visit, if there were any support groups for folks that had been in long term chronic pain and were now pain free. I know he did not know where I was coming from. I thought I had phrased the question pretty accurately.
To cope with extreme long term pain I had mentally severed my legs. My relationship with my body was not healthy. And there were mental blocks that it has taken years to address for me to now be in a healthier place with my feelings and physical body.
It is my feeling that it is the “debris” that pain has left behind that needs some focus. And to truly be appreciative of a pain-free state, there is a lot of inner healing that needs to occur. If you have been there and are fortunate enough to be pain free have you had any similar experiences trying to recover?
Mary Byrne Eigel 