I have lived several years of my life in chronic pain. I have been fortunate to be relieved of that same pain with surgery and therapy. I am now having to accept the fact that the pain, I thought was banished, can choose to resurface.
Checking the dictionary, I found this definition of chronic: “persisting for a long time or constantly recurring”. Why was I unaware that it was capable of returning? When it is gone should it not stay gone? I would never invite it back!
And the returning is not only physically harder to accept but psychologically tougher as well. I know that if I get a “whiff” of pain, it brings back a lot of bad memories. I had the strength to endure it when that was the only life I knew. But when you have had a chance to be free of its shackles, you know what its imprisonment demands. And somehow I feel that if I eluded it for years maybe by running and hiding I can avoid it now. I know I do not want it to return.
I have spent the last week dealing with the fact that it has returned, in my knee this time, not my hip, and that I must take steps to regain my strength to deal with it. I know that I do not want to be its victim again, and I have the wisdom to know that I can engage in some healthier measures to try and minimize it.
Have you had experiences in being pain free and then chronic pain returning? How has that felt? How have you dealt?
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